I was recently watching an episode of "Adventure Time" and heard this hilarious quote from Jake the dog: "Look at me! I'm running! (2 seconds later) Running is too hard..." That completely sums up my experience in Saturday's "Course of Dreams" 5k cross-country run at Shawnee Mission Park. The women's run didn't begin until 8:30 am, and by then it was already very hot & humid. I hadn't had a chance to fill my prescription for an inhaler that my doc gave me on Wed, which may have really helped. Although I feel a little defeated that I'm not able to control my breathing simply through good & consistent conditioning, I've resigned myself that I do need to try it. Particularly when running in the heat & humidity.
For the first time I had to stop and WALK during the race. And not just once, but FOUR TIMES. Ugh. (I walked briefly during the Amy Thompson run, but that was my first 8k so it didn't bother me.) From the beginning of the race I was pacing myself off one woman with short blond hair and a powder blue tank top. But she was faster than me, and I should have chosen a less ambitious target. Our first mile was around 8 minutes. Between the speed and the weather and the full sun and the long grass, I felt like my feet were made of lead, and my breathing was frustratingly inconsistent. Running off-road is harder. I finished in 29:51.8, easily my worst race ever. What really bothers me, though, is that mentally I did everything I could to motivate myself, and I just physically felt so terrible that I just couldn't keep running. Which makes me not want to run anymore—at least not outside during the summer. And I have the Race for the Cure next Sunday, and the Run for the Polar Bears at the zoo in September. Praying that the weather will cut me a break for those.
To add insult to injury (pun intended), the pinched nerve in my left hip & sore knee that I picked up nearly a month ago returned with a vengeance after the run. I felt great while I was running, got in the car & drove home. I parked the car & swung my left leg to get out, and was in utter agony. Intense, sharp pain from my hip that traveled to my knee. And a popping sensation when I moved my knee. I could hardly bear weight on my left leg at all & had to carefully hop up the stairs to the shower. My house is full of stairs. So much so, that I've often referred to it as "My M.C. Escher house." It has so many stairs that even the stairs have stairs. It was going to be a loooong weekend...
Saturday night I opened a brand-new bag of cat food & filled the bowls before I went to bed. Same food cats have been eating for months. When I woke up Sunday morning my house looked like a crime scene. Both cats had been sick (upper & lower systems) ALL OVER THE HOUSE. I shut the cats in the laundry room, picked up the little food remaining, and spent two hours cleaning up all the messes I could find. I was so angry that I yelled at the cats, which I'm ashamed of. I really scared them. But after having one of them pee on my bed the week before Christmas, and the intermittent problems with hairballs, indigestiion, and flat-out refusal to use the litter box unless it is meticulously cleaned throughout the day... well, I finally understand why people give up their cats. Not to say that it's right, but this morning I understood. And I'm ashamed of that too.
In the last year I have spent over $1000 making sure the cats don't have any medical problems. Thinking back, I never had trouble with them before I adopted the dogs. Now I have four animals that I love that I fear don't want to live together. I'm really distraught over what to do. I love my cats, but they are destroying my house & making me miserable.
Also, one of my friends just told me that she was laid off at work.
To be continued, after picking up the pieces from my head exploding...
