The new science of diving

   Thank goodness John and Michele gave me this excellent 1968 scuba diving manual… I had no idea it was so much I didn't know!

   Use conch shells to barter with hot 60s babes you meet underwater. Pretty sure this is Jeff and Marty:

   Sam finally found a mermaid near the infamous luggage cart with the help of a submerged martini and a hint of narcosis. (PS. as everyone knows, you shouldn't drink and dive.)

   Fun fact: scuba units used to include crotch straps. And that's what the manual calls them. Sexy.
   It's generally a terrible idea to drag fresh food from your @**. Yes, even underwater.

   If an alien baby grows in your head, seek medical attention so they can flush it out with toothpaste.

   I am now SO much more prepared for safe diving!