Quotes of the Trip

For the second ski trip, I've kept track of some of the funniest things said along the way... Here they are, in no particular order. (The first trip is captured here.)

I'm dripping in diamonds & yummy food. - Tracy

Maureen: There's actually a big gear place... Like a local version of Dick's.
Maureen/Tracy/Jen in unison: The Local Dick's!

Breakfast of champions: this plus Advil. (I wish I were joking.)

(Responding to Jen eating half a package of raw cookie dough and pondering the potential for salmonella):
Don't be a whiny little bitch; put your depends on and get on the mountain... It will be like leaving a trail of bread crumbs down the slopes. - Maureen

I'm going to use the gold pass to cover my wahoo. - Tracy

It was a Mexican restaurant, but there was a sausage fest going on. - Maureen

I'm gonna wear this scarf with my meat suit. - Tracy (Referencing Lady Gaga)

I am 99% sure I was on the shuttle bus with Reid from The Bachelorette. (Who happens to be the hottest guy ever on that show. Reid, if you're reading this, call me!) - Jen

And it has a side crock of crack. No fries, just a small crackpot. (Potato side dish to hamburger) - Tracy

Tracy: I'm gonna need a lift. (Trying to get up after eating a huge dinner at Bistro CV)

Maureen: They're straight. No wait, one of them is wearing a large white watch.
Jen: And there's a penalty on the field...

T. Boone Pickens just called; he wants to buy a minority share in the oil field on your head. - Terry

If I were rich I'd hire a personal masseuse rather than a personal chef. I can cook for myself but I can't touch myself. - Jen

Why aren't there snowboard shops? - Maureen
Because the employees gave away too much free gear to their friends. - Shop guy
Are you saying snowboarders are hooligans? And by extension, that I'm a hooligan?  ...And how did you know? - Jen

(Regarding the bungee trampoline):
Jen: Tracy & I should do that.
Tracy: I don't know what it is, but I'm not doin' it.

(At Mahogany Ridge): Has this restaurant been reading my diary?!" - Maureen

You're "Jensei". - Terry

I like to do it on the side. (Referring to salad dressing) - Tracy

My snow-jo is working! - Maureen

Sloths move only when necessary, and even then, very slowly. (Comparing to Tracy) - Maureen

The backside is groomed. - Maureen

(Upon picking us up at the spa) Wet noodle pickup service. - Terry

I can't feel my anything. - Jen, post-massage

She gave me bloody nubs. - Tracy, post-manicure

It's like waiting for the singer of Jackal to blow up. (Referring to a marathon of Full Throttle Saloon) - Terry

Jen: If we get stranded on the way home and have to resort to cannibalism, who would we eat first?
Tracy: I'm not eating any of you. I'd find a helpless man on the side of the road.

Anything else I need to eat & throw out? - Terry

(Reading a horoscope) Mars & Uranus are going to be conjoined after the 17th. - Maureen

The Kremmling, Colorado City Hall sign proclaiming "Ice Hole Open Saturday". - Spotted by Terry