Monday, November 4, 2013

Work stress nightmare

   This came out today. First at work, then almost immediately in the media: Hallmark cuts will involve as many as 250 jobs: http://m.bizjournals.com/kansascity/news/2013/11/04/hallmark-cuts-will-involve-as-many-as.html

   I naively thought I wasn't going to be impacted since my job (only 4 months in) seems secure and I'm receiving strong reviews of my work. But my stomach has been in knots all day as people worried and speculated, I never felt hungry and barely ate, and that was before I saw any of the stressed-out posts from talented friends on Facebook tonight. Whatever happens in the next few days, it won't ever be the same company again.

   I just woke up on the couch with a start. I had a nightmare that a former boss (who I'm friendly with--even saw her today and chatted a bit) called me into my planning room for a meeting. She never looked me in the eye and instead chewed her fingernails and looked all around, speculating on a "better" use of my planning room and finally blurting out that she didn't think I was needed anymore. Just as my thoughts turned to my current boss (whom I love) and why he didn't tell me himself, the sound of a text message coming through my phone woke me up abruptly.

   My stomach feels like there's a rock in there. This situation is so difficult for us all, regardless of our individual fate within the organization. Even those who are left--the "lucky" ones--grieve.