Saturday, March 21, 2015

Happy soles and soul searching

   Got home from the dive shop today to find a plain, brown box on my doorstep. Just opened it up. Inside was  the most amazing care package from my friend Jen K.!!! (I may never take off those socks again.)
   I haven't posted every single thing I've received from friends, but I've posted quite a lot of them. I am still amazed every day by the incredible showing of support for me. Never in my life did I think I would be worthy of all this!
   I've been out of work for three weeks now, and I'm not going to lie… I have my ups and downs. But for the most part, I'm up. Way up! And it's because of every phone call, every email, every message, every LinkedIn recommendation and endorsement, every hug, every tear, and every ounce of support from everyone. Seriously, each and every one of them is important to me.
   I don't know where I will land next, or even which direction I am headed… Yet. But I believe that I can't possibly fail, because everyone out there believes in me so much. And more than anything, I want to prove them right.
   Since I'm trying to call out the positives of my situation, I will say that diving has been a nice distraction. We have so much fun training together in the pool, and I enjoy helping students, too. It helps me to focus on a completely different environment and a different set of skills. And a couple days ago, I was able to teach a Thursday afternoon class to help out the shop—no one else was available during the day. A couple drove down from Des Moines, Iowa just to dive with us. And I'm glad they could dive with me. 
   Their names are Daniel and Judy. Daniel was already certified, and Judy was terrified. I had to do a lot of coaching and explanation to convince her that diving was possible for her. And in her... I saw myself five years ago.
   I understand that feeling of fear; that desperate wonder if something you want to do is possibly within your reach. And I proved that for me, it was. And I believed I could help her, too. And I did. She knows she CAN do it if she chooses to pursue it.
   I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and for me, the very idea of attempting swimming, and then scuba, and eventually succeeding at both, prove that anything I want is possible if I am willing to work hard enough for it. And you know what? I am. Not just willing, but excited. Grateful for the challenge. Overjoyed for the abilities I do have, and ready to tear through obstacles and doubt.
   Just 5.5 years ago, I couldn't swim. I couldn't dive. I hadn't even thought of snowboarding. I hadn't kayaked. I hadn't run a half marathon. Now I know well that each of these is well within my capability. So why wouldn't anything else be?
   For each of those challenges, I found someone willing to help me. The world is telling me they are willing to help. So here goes nothing…