*GASP*

Today the highs were high, but the lows were quite low. This morning I was greeted by Maureen, who dropped a large Christmas package in my lap & flashed her trademark smirk. She said, "You don't have to open this right now, but you HAVE to open it at work!" Who was she kidding? I had to open it now! I tore off the paper to find...  

A SNUGGIE! And a leopard-print one at that! 

Check me out. Indistinguishable from Grace Kelly.

As with many garments, it's OSFN: one size fits none. But all kidding aside, this thing is TOTALLY warm & cozy. The back is open like a hospital gown. But fortunately, the thing is huge & there's plenty of fabric to wrap around. It also came with a booklight which Steve was quick to point out that "Jen will never use" because "Jen doesn't read." Someone's getting coal in his stocking, Mr. King. And is that a twinge of jealously I detect?

JAZZ HANDS! Anita let me borrow her matching gloves.

"It's shut-in sexy!"   —Tina

"It's your cloak of heightened visibility!"  —Mike G

I know you love your new Snuggie, but here's yet another TV offer you should take advantage of.  —Madeline

And then I returned home, which was like an evil alternate universe. Upon entering the kitchen, I saw that not only had Wylie dumped the trash & strewn it all over the room, he pulled down the clean dishtowel, chewed the bungie cord on the baby gate in two, & pulled out a stool and CLIMBED ON THE COUNTERTOP, destroying a plant and knocking the mail to the floor, entangling it inextricably from the trash. He also had drank all the water & peed on the floor. It was dry, but the toxic yellow stain & telltale smell was there on the porcelain tile.

Look how pleased he is with himself!!!

What was done was done, so I did my best to shrug it off, let the dogs out & headed upstairs hurriedly to change clothes for my Monday night boot camp class. Aaaaand...Atom, who has not been himself for months, HAD PEED ON MY BED!!! It soaked through SIX layers: duvet cover, down comforter, electric blanket, flat sheet, fitted sheet & mattress pad. I tore through them all, hoping, hoping...sigh. Yep, soaked right into the mattress. Ruined.

So I write this from my temporary bed (that is, the couch) having experienced quite enough for one day.