Alternative to the Thundershirt

   This all started when Amy posted a picture of her dog Cisco, who is scared of thunderstorms, and he was sulking while wearing his Thundershirt. Another friend commented that her dog Rocky was sulking too.

   I asked if the shirts actually calm dogs, because Aki is afraid of storms too. Amy said, "Yes! Whether it's soothing, or it just breaks their spirit because they feel like they're wearing a training bra". So I couldn't help but do this (poor Aki was a great sport!). The girls' version:

   But, speaking of things that dogs DO like, anyone who knows dogs and cats will get a kick out of this:

Diving Discoveries

What. A. Day. 

   Jeffrey invited me and Chris to assist with two Discover Scuba classes of Boy Scouts (17 kids!), and then a third class with a mom and her son, and another family of 5 Nigerian kids. The scouts were wonderful of course, and all did a great job. But I got to spend more individual time with and I especially enjoyed the final class of the day.

   The two girls weren't so comfortable in the water, so we had to get over that hurdle before teaching them to dive. At first, their instinct was to grab my arm and hold on for dear life, sometimes dragging me under water in the process, or nearly knocking my regulator out. But over the couple of hours that we were in the pool, I watched their fear melt away.

   By the end of the day, they each took me by the hand and wanted me to jump into the pool with them! Although they never dove in the deep end, it was magic to see them just playing in the water without a trace of fear. One even had me pull up a Rihanna song ("Stay") on my iPhone and the three of us sang it together in the pool as we were swimming around.

   What really impressed upon me about the five siblings was that none of them were especially confident in the water at first. But also, none of them were so fearful that they refused to try. It was like it never entered their mind to not try it--despite their clear trepidation. Their parents weren't here, and they had never met me before. They were in an unfamiliar and potentially risky situation, yet placed all their trust in a stranger. I think that's fairly remarkable for one individual, much less five all at once. It made me wonder about their parents and what amazing people they must be, raising such fun, joyful, confident young adults.

   I just about had tears in my eyes when the two girls came over to me and gave me big smiles and even bigger hugs as we were all getting ready to leave. It is so empowering and so fulfilling to not only have fun together, but also to help them try something they might not have otherwise.

   Cuties Sam and Tia, two naturals in the water!

   I don't know how on earth I had energy left after 5+ hours of diving and kid-wrangling to stop at the grocery store and then to come home and make dinner, but I hadn't eaten anything all day, so it was a good idea. Here's what I whipped up:

   Broiled miso black cod, sautéed brussels sprouts, and spiced, roasted carrots and sweet potatoes. I even cooked up some plain sweet potatoes just for the dogs, and they enjoyed them with a dollop of plain yogurt on top, like a real dessert. As my food was cooking I made up a double batch of Michele's special protein nuggets, which are a great breakfast on the go, or snack, or dessert, or anything you want!

   And you know what I want? To go to sleep!

Laying it on thick

A little wobbly, drawn on the bus. Based on actual events.

Quite a team

   I never would have believed this, had I not seen it myself… I heard Kismet coming up through the door from the basement. I turned to see Aki sitting just outside the door. Kismet was carrying a live mouse in her mouth and just as she came through the door, she released it, Aki pounced on it and chomped it (almost) to death in one fell swoop.

   Horrified by what I had just witnessed, I ran to the mouse's rescue and scooped it up in an old towel that was nearby, used to wipe the dogs feet when they come in from the snow. I could tell the mouse was not much longer for this world... But at least it wouldn't be eaten by these two. These two who are now, apparently, partners in crimes against smaller mammals.

   With this new reality, I can only imagine how successful they will be as a team. Each has already caught their fair share of wildlife single-handedly. Lord help the little animals!

MacDo

   I eat fast food mayyyybe 6 times a year. And I am in Filet-o-Fake-Fish a and greasy delicious French fry heaven at the Denver airport right now. #preemptiveregret #slimyyetsatisfying

   On a similarly unhealthy note:

Hahahhahhahahahahaha!!!!!

Double entendre

   Question: Someone asked me if, because my snowboard bag is bigger than me, it doubles as a sleeping bag when I arrive at my destination. Answer: if I had thought of that, I could have saved some major bucks on a condo!!! No indoor plumbing in the bag, though.

   However, it will be a moot point if I'm disallowed from departing...

Drawing time: Three wetsuits

   I mentioned in an earlier post that the swimming pool was a scant 69° on Saturday while we were diving. So I actually wore three wetsuits: a full-length 3mm, and then two 3mm shorties on top of it. I felt like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man! It looked a little something like this:

   I messed up my eyes in that first drawing where I am dipping my toe in the pool. I also meant to further exaggerate my size while wearing three wetsuits, for comic effect. That's the problem with drawing with pens, you can't erase. ;)

   This is the advantage to drawing old-school rather than on the computer. Sometimes things don't come out quite right, but often you surprise yourself with something you wouldn't have done in digital form, armed with the opportunity to make easy changes.

Bump in the night

   It has been a very exciting Saturday night… I heard a bump upstairs, went to investigate, and found the kitty scrambling around the bathroom floor. 

   I picked up the trashcan and suddenly, a mousie jumped out from behind it and ran all the way up my arm almost to my shoulder before I could shake it off. I'm not afraid of mice, but it was so sudden and unexpected it made me let out a little scream that surprised even myself. It also drew a crowd:

   Kismet caught him, but the Shibas would have gladly dispatched of him!  Proof that this breed is as catlike as you've heard.

   I took these few photos to capture my mighty hunters, put the mousy in a trashcan, and took him a mile away from the house to release him back into the wild. I couldn't bring myself to kill a mouse, they're too cute. And so are the photos. Squeak!

Gettin' Schooled

   This video reminds me of one of my favorite dives in Roatan, when I was surrounded by a large school of fish who peacefully and curiously drifted with me for a couple minutes. To be 50' underwater, soaring over rolling green mounds of coral and rippling sunlight, and accepted into their presence is an experience I shall never forget!

Doors & windows

I think I know where M.C. Escher got his inspiration...

   They say that when God closes a door, he opens a window. But what they don't tell you is that sometimes the door doesn't want to stay closed, so you have to use said window as your emergency escape route.

   Sometimes the door you thought you wanted open was in fact a terrible pitfall and when you learn the truth, you can't slam it shut fast enough. Life is curious that way; things are not always as they seem. But every challenge is a learning experience, and I'm glad to have learned *quickly* and availed myself of the exit.

   What is life but a series of doors and windows—all choices. Like a bird, I'm flying freely through that open window. And I'll be all the more cautious with the next door. ;)

Poetic Run

   I had a great run tonight, and though I had techno beats turned up to drown out the sound of the wind and the traffic, my mind had great clarity. The last few days have been up... Then down. And something about the combination of that, my motivation to get out and run on the eve of our first real snow, mulling over a personal story of struggle & triumph shared by an artist I barely know (Chris B), and the Kanye West concert last night (hugely awe-inspiring... Another take on the same theme), seemed to work for me tonight.

   I wrote this in my head over the hourlong run and scribbled it down as soon as I got home, words flowing from my mind almost faster than I could write--and certainly faster than I can run! But I caught them all. I don't consider myself much of a poet, but it's a good challenge when the mood strikes.

   True story.

                         * * * * * *

Step outside
Pitch black, headlamp on stun
Nostrils freeze, eyes tear from bitter cold, but ready to run
First step is hardest, but it's behind me now
Surging into the wind—force into resistance
Fists clenched, teeth clenched, forehead drenched
Up and over highway bridges
Cars speeding below on predictable paths
They'll get there faster
     But I can go anywhere
                         * * * * * *
Making the game harder
Jumping electrical boxes, fire hydrants, rocks, anything in my way
Leaping onto concrete walls four inches wide--

High ground on left, long drop on right
Faster faster faster
Lean toward safety, then risk
Striking balance somewhere in between
Feeling unstoppable
Face arms hands numb head numb heart numb
From frigid air—NO—from life
And NO—not numb—tingling—feeling EVERYTHING
     Alive and exhilarated
                         * * * * * *
Headlamp fails, darkness wins?
I tumble end-over-end-over-bike-in-yard
Concealed in leaves, lying in wait
The cowardly rely on surprise, keeping secrets
     Jumping out of the black and biting hard
Forward momentum crashing to a halt
While the beat—life—goes on
My power spills before me
Knee slams frozen ground, arm pulls hard against socket
Searing pain
"It'll heal even stronger than before," Doc said of my broken arm
     And so it did. I did. I will.
                         * * * * * *
Did I run too far, too fast? Did I trust my feet too much?
Did my heart run faster than my legs could carry me?
Regret is a wasteland, and besides
Bones and hearts were made to heal
The past can be rewritten if you choose to believe
     Fate favors the bold who power through
                         * * * * * *
Halfway home, one way to get there
     I lift myself up
Wincing until cold masks the pain
Not cold—conviction
A ride would be easy, quick, comfortable
But challenge rewards the heartstrong
    Who choose to rise above
                         * * * * * *
Bumps in the road give strength and stamina
Tonight I could have run all night, fast and far and free, forever
     I wished I could
     And in my mind, I did
     Never looking back

Irony. I haz it.

   It usually takes me 1.5 hours to get ready in the morning. That's getting showered, dressed, hair & makeup, snuggling with Kizzy (as she rides around on my neck), feeding the dogs, and playing with them a bit.
   However, on those all-too-common days when my alarm has gone off for an hour and fifteen minutes before I've heard it once, somehow I am able to contract 90 minutes into 30, and dash to the bus stop just in time. A good illustration of how much I like riding, eh? If I went any faster, I'd be reversing time and scientists would be studying me.
   Another weird time thing: when I drive to work, I never get there as fast as I wish I could, and when I ride, it always goes too fast. That's the difference between swearing at traffic, and chilling out.
In other ironic news, twice this week my name has been printed as Rarely, which doesn't happen infrequently.

Runraiser: 55 on 55

   Pam, my dental hygienist of nearly 15 years, is running 55k on her 55th birthday to raise money to help her brother, who has recurrent cancer. So I'm sharing the link in case anyone can help out. Here is the story in her words:
   On May 25th I plan on running 55K, (34.1 miles), to raise funds to help defray medical costs for my brother. In January 2011, shortly after his 55th birthday, Willy was diagnosed with Stage III Renal Cell Carcinoma, (kidney cancer). His right kidney along with the tumor, (the size of a Nerf football), had to be removed. In October of 2011, an MRI revealed the cancer had metastasized to his brain. At that time he underwent three weeks of full brain radiation, and had one stereo-tactic radio surgery treatment. At that time he also began an oral chemotherapy regiment. He is now on disability and receives enough to cover his basic expenses, but his private insurance has a $10,000 deductible and no prescription drug coverage.
   You, or someone you know, may have been diagnosed with cancer. So you may already understand the fear and uncertainty that comes with that diagnosis. I can't do anything about his cancer, but maybe, (with your help), I can relieve some of his financial fear and uncertainty. Would you please help? Thank you!  — Pam Barnes

Random Hallmark Moments: Experiment

   My friends Dan and Kelly were telling me about an experiment held in the humor department, in which each artist was asked to create some works that no one would suspect were theirs. This is tough, because most humor artists have such a recognizable style. But they said it was a success, and it sounded like fun to me, so here's my entry: The Taming of the Wolf, inspired by (and created with) the neon orange nail polish that Madeline loaned to me. Whatcha think?

The Possum's Paw

   This morning I went downstairs to let the dogs out, and noticed something sitting on the rug—just a couple of feet from the door. I stepped closer, then immediately recoiled from the pungent odor. Someone left a desiccated foot on my deck! At first I wasn't sure whose foot it was, but upon looking closer at the appearance of the toes and claws, decided it must be from a possum. (This was later confirmed when I found a patch of black, dried skin with telltale-colored hair on it. Taylor had found it first, and rolled on it. Are you shivering from sheer grossness? Good. Me too.)

   The paw reminded me of that short story "The Monkey's Paw" by W.W. Jacobs—so I made sure not to make any wishes on it. It's funny how a surprise event can trigger a distant memory. (There are plenty of useful things I can't seem to remember... but old short stories I read in middle school? No problem.)

"It's just an ordinary little paw, dried to a mummy."

   The moral to the story is "Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it"; in other words, our lives are ruled by fate, and there is a penalty to be paid for trying to overcome it. I'll definitely be careful about what I wish for after this not-so-subtle reminder!

Invisibility

   Last weekend while driving home from my kayaking adventure at Smithville lake with Joni, a woman who was texting almost broadsided my Rav-4. And keep in mind, it was broad daylight, sunny, and I had a 10' neon orange kayak on my car. I was a large, orange-glowing object. If she had use of her faculties, there's no way she could have missed me.
   Two days ago, I was on the highway on my way to work in the morning, and a man coming up behind me in the adjacent lane suddenly surged into my lane, nearly broadsiding me again. He came from BEHIND me—again, if he were alert, there's no way he could have missed seeing me as he approached. I laid on my horn for about ten full seconds, but he CONTINUED into my lane rather than correct himself. His face never reacted. He was a zombie.
   Then last night, I was almost home from the Squeaks & Beeps celebration, and was forced to stop before the intersection of Farley & 87th, as a cyclist had just been struck down by a car. Paramedics were just arriving, and swarmed the lifeless body in the middle of the street, working frantically. Cars couldn't get through, so there was nothing we could do but sit there and watch in horror as firemen, police, and EMTs tried to get control of the scene. The car involved was crumpled up like a tin can. I can't imagine how someone's body could have caused that kind of damage to a car—perhaps the car struck another object too? I'll never know how the accident happened. But what I know is that all these scenes left me sickened with the thought of what could have been, and my heart raced each time.
   I think about the three times I have been hit by other drivers in the past two years: their fault each time. Rear-ended twice, and backed into once. I was invisible to all. And I feel like I might have targets painted all over my Rav that are visible to everyone but me!
   I am not going to lie and say that I haven't texted while driving; and even if I'm not responding, it is always tempting to check email. We are all so BUSY. I am as addicted to my stupid phone as we all seem to be. It is a true addiction, and a horrible temptation.
   I've noticed while sitting at home watching TV, that if I'm simultaneously checking texts, emails, or Facebook on my phone, I have to keep rewinding the TV show because minutes will pass—and I'll suddenly realize that I have absolutely no idea what's going on.
   We all think we're good multi-taskers, and the bottom line is, we're all wrong. And given the three things that I've witnessed in just the past few days, I am going to make a concerted effort to focus, especially when I'm driving my car. Because I know how freaked out I was when I realized I was invisible to those other drivers, and contemplated the price we'd all have paid if I hadn't been alert. And I cannot even imagine the weight I'd feel if I had hurt someone else in my own invisible fog.
   I'd like to challenge anyone reading this to join me. I understand the temptation, but the fact is, nothing on our phones is worth the risk. For those who are fortunate enough not to be tempted, thank you for helping others to adopt your behavior.

Badness is the Spice of Life!

      On Sunday I went grocery shopping, and bought a bunch of ingredients to take to a friend's house for dinner Monday night. I prepped as much as I could ahead of time, leaving a bag of spices, cooking spray, & other non-perishables pushed to the back of the kitchen counter. Safe, I thought...

   Taylor is notoriously hungry (as his dog tag, "Chow Hound" professes). So I should have known better. "But he's been so GOOD lately," I thought. I left for work Monday morning.

   At 3:00 pm I was sitting in a meeting, and my phone buzzed. I was getting a call from my own home phone, which I knew meant that my pet sitter had stopped by. She only calls when it's important. She informed me that she came into my house to find the bag of food dragged into the living room, with the spices' lids chewed off... garlic, salt & pepper, onion powder blends. Ugh.

Nothing like getting a call at work about how bad your dogs are being at home!

   Taylor may be a shorty, but I figured out how he gets on my countertops, because my oven door handle is scratched: he jumps up & does a chin-up to get up there.

   My friend Susan heard about this, and sent me a photo of a collie wearing a sign stating, "I eat trash". I thought it was so funny that I had to do my own version... here's MSIR Aki & Taylor, telling it like it is!

Sometimes a Horse is Just a Horse...

...and a kayak is just a kayak!

   My HR partner just called to tell me she had a dream last night, in which she was babysitting my chestnut-brown horse and my orange tabby, and she lost the horse. It turned out okay—she got him back. But she was worried for a bit! She said, "Jen, you're not thinking of adding a horse to your menagerie, are you?" I said, "Not right now, but you never know what's on the horizon!"

   Last week while staying at the hotel in Omaha, Allyson and Scott and I all reported having unusual, very-specific dreams such as this one. In one of my dreams, I was at the swim meet for Corporate Challenge, and before the meet we were all taken to a huge room (essentially a giant shower) and told that we all had to shower together prior to the meet. And no one wanted to compete, because we knew we had to look each other in the eyes and work together on Monday!
   I also had a dream that I had a date with a new guy, and we had only emailed each other so far, and when we met at dinner he informed me excitedly that he had just bought a brand-new kayak—the same kind I have from LL Bean. And it was a total turnoff because I felt like he was trying too hard and thought, "This guy doesn't even KNOW me yet—I'm not going to kayak with a guy on the FIRST DATE!" LOL
   The subconscious mind works in strange ways; who knows what all this could mean. I certainly don't want to know what Freud would make of it!!!