CT scan or CAT scan?!?

   My doctor is running 65+ min behind, not that I'm counting.l, and it's pissing me off. This is exactly what cell phones are for.

   The good news is I'm back in the tiny room now, and my CT scan shows that there's a kitty face inside my skull. I suspected that all along... Do you see it?? I can't not see it.

   I'm here to find out if I can continue scuba diving and stop getting horrible ear infections all the time. He's going to tell me I need surgery, which is no bueno...

Quote: with the heart

   My financial advisor shared this quote in his weekly email: 
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” -- Helen Keller, American author and political activist
   Having seen my little nephew miraculously progressing through developmental challenges, and training the last few months with a deaf dive buddy, I'm learned to think differently about how we each perceive and interpret the world. It is amazing to me that Helen Keller, born with seemingly insurmountable challenges, became such an influential symbol of perseverance and taught us that differences are not necessarily disabilities. I thought this quote was wonderful and sweet, and definitely one to remember.

Snowbird, Day 3

   By this morning (4 am to be exact), it was clear that I had more than a cold. Richard graciously offered to take me to urgent care and to pick up my prescription, so the other three boys could get on with their day. Sinus infection confirmed, I got on my meds and debated on whether to take it easy at the condo or head to the 'bird. The decision was easy: fresh powder yesterday, and a gorgeous, sunny, bluebird day today. To the mountain!
   We arrived by 11:00 when the crowd was already thinning for lunch & the Superbowl, so I was able to get a lot of riding in. My head began to feel much better, and much to my relief, I was able to focus 100% on having fun again. By 1:00 the slopes were empty; we nearly had all the runs to ourselves. Thank you, football!!!! We rode until 4:30 when the lifts closed and made a beeline home to the beef stew we'd thrown in the crock pot this morning.
   I was thinking, as crummy as it is that I'm not feeling well, I'm well enough to ride, and THANK GOODNESS it hit me on this trip and not when I was in Roatan. Here in Draper, a great urgent care facility was 2.5 miles away, and the pharmacy next door. I could ride with a head cold. In diving, however, there would be no such luck: congestion means no diving, there was NOTHING else to do at our resort, and good luck finding urgent care on the tiny, remote island of Roatan. So I'm very grateful things worked out the way they did!

Poetic Run

   I had a great run tonight, and though I had techno beats turned up to drown out the sound of the wind and the traffic, my mind had great clarity. The last few days have been up... Then down. And something about the combination of that, my motivation to get out and run on the eve of our first real snow, mulling over a personal story of struggle & triumph shared by an artist I barely know (Chris B), and the Kanye West concert last night (hugely awe-inspiring... Another take on the same theme), seemed to work for me tonight.

   I wrote this in my head over the hourlong run and scribbled it down as soon as I got home, words flowing from my mind almost faster than I could write--and certainly faster than I can run! But I caught them all. I don't consider myself much of a poet, but it's a good challenge when the mood strikes.

   True story.

                         * * * * * *

Step outside
Pitch black, headlamp on stun
Nostrils freeze, eyes tear from bitter cold, but ready to run
First step is hardest, but it's behind me now
Surging into the wind—force into resistance
Fists clenched, teeth clenched, forehead drenched
Up and over highway bridges
Cars speeding below on predictable paths
They'll get there faster
     But I can go anywhere
                         * * * * * *
Making the game harder
Jumping electrical boxes, fire hydrants, rocks, anything in my way
Leaping onto concrete walls four inches wide--

High ground on left, long drop on right
Faster faster faster
Lean toward safety, then risk
Striking balance somewhere in between
Feeling unstoppable
Face arms hands numb head numb heart numb
From frigid air—NO—from life
And NO—not numb—tingling—feeling EVERYTHING
     Alive and exhilarated
                         * * * * * *
Headlamp fails, darkness wins?
I tumble end-over-end-over-bike-in-yard
Concealed in leaves, lying in wait
The cowardly rely on surprise, keeping secrets
     Jumping out of the black and biting hard
Forward momentum crashing to a halt
While the beat—life—goes on
My power spills before me
Knee slams frozen ground, arm pulls hard against socket
Searing pain
"It'll heal even stronger than before," Doc said of my broken arm
     And so it did. I did. I will.
                         * * * * * *
Did I run too far, too fast? Did I trust my feet too much?
Did my heart run faster than my legs could carry me?
Regret is a wasteland, and besides
Bones and hearts were made to heal
The past can be rewritten if you choose to believe
     Fate favors the bold who power through
                         * * * * * *
Halfway home, one way to get there
     I lift myself up
Wincing until cold masks the pain
Not cold—conviction
A ride would be easy, quick, comfortable
But challenge rewards the heartstrong
    Who choose to rise above
                         * * * * * *
Bumps in the road give strength and stamina
Tonight I could have run all night, fast and far and free, forever
     I wished I could
     And in my mind, I did
     Never looking back

Runraiser: 55 on 55

   Pam, my dental hygienist of nearly 15 years, is running 55k on her 55th birthday to raise money to help her brother, who has recurrent cancer. So I'm sharing the link in case anyone can help out. Here is the story in her words:
   On May 25th I plan on running 55K, (34.1 miles), to raise funds to help defray medical costs for my brother. In January 2011, shortly after his 55th birthday, Willy was diagnosed with Stage III Renal Cell Carcinoma, (kidney cancer). His right kidney along with the tumor, (the size of a Nerf football), had to be removed. In October of 2011, an MRI revealed the cancer had metastasized to his brain. At that time he underwent three weeks of full brain radiation, and had one stereo-tactic radio surgery treatment. At that time he also began an oral chemotherapy regiment. He is now on disability and receives enough to cover his basic expenses, but his private insurance has a $10,000 deductible and no prescription drug coverage.
   You, or someone you know, may have been diagnosed with cancer. So you may already understand the fear and uncertainty that comes with that diagnosis. I can't do anything about his cancer, but maybe, (with your help), I can relieve some of his financial fear and uncertainty. Would you please help? Thank you!  — Pam Barnes

Invisibility

   Last weekend while driving home from my kayaking adventure at Smithville lake with Joni, a woman who was texting almost broadsided my Rav-4. And keep in mind, it was broad daylight, sunny, and I had a 10' neon orange kayak on my car. I was a large, orange-glowing object. If she had use of her faculties, there's no way she could have missed me.
   Two days ago, I was on the highway on my way to work in the morning, and a man coming up behind me in the adjacent lane suddenly surged into my lane, nearly broadsiding me again. He came from BEHIND me—again, if he were alert, there's no way he could have missed seeing me as he approached. I laid on my horn for about ten full seconds, but he CONTINUED into my lane rather than correct himself. His face never reacted. He was a zombie.
   Then last night, I was almost home from the Squeaks & Beeps celebration, and was forced to stop before the intersection of Farley & 87th, as a cyclist had just been struck down by a car. Paramedics were just arriving, and swarmed the lifeless body in the middle of the street, working frantically. Cars couldn't get through, so there was nothing we could do but sit there and watch in horror as firemen, police, and EMTs tried to get control of the scene. The car involved was crumpled up like a tin can. I can't imagine how someone's body could have caused that kind of damage to a car—perhaps the car struck another object too? I'll never know how the accident happened. But what I know is that all these scenes left me sickened with the thought of what could have been, and my heart raced each time.
   I think about the three times I have been hit by other drivers in the past two years: their fault each time. Rear-ended twice, and backed into once. I was invisible to all. And I feel like I might have targets painted all over my Rav that are visible to everyone but me!
   I am not going to lie and say that I haven't texted while driving; and even if I'm not responding, it is always tempting to check email. We are all so BUSY. I am as addicted to my stupid phone as we all seem to be. It is a true addiction, and a horrible temptation.
   I've noticed while sitting at home watching TV, that if I'm simultaneously checking texts, emails, or Facebook on my phone, I have to keep rewinding the TV show because minutes will pass—and I'll suddenly realize that I have absolutely no idea what's going on.
   We all think we're good multi-taskers, and the bottom line is, we're all wrong. And given the three things that I've witnessed in just the past few days, I am going to make a concerted effort to focus, especially when I'm driving my car. Because I know how freaked out I was when I realized I was invisible to those other drivers, and contemplated the price we'd all have paid if I hadn't been alert. And I cannot even imagine the weight I'd feel if I had hurt someone else in my own invisible fog.
   I'd like to challenge anyone reading this to join me. I understand the temptation, but the fact is, nothing on our phones is worth the risk. For those who are fortunate enough not to be tempted, thank you for helping others to adopt your behavior.

Fierce.

   Kismet's assault of Aki occurred days ago, and was seeming like a distant memory... until last night, when poor Aki's face suddenly swelled up like she had the mumps. I knew immediately that this was a very bad sign: that her wounds had become infected and that she needed treatment very quickly. Since I had some antibiotic tablets and ointment on hand, I opted to watch her throughout the night and try to avoid the emergency vet. She slept next to me, and I had her in to see Dr. Ebeling as soon as Red Bridge Animal Clinic opened its doors.

   Dr. Ebeling put her on more of the same antibiotic that I had used at home, plus a painkiller/anti-inflammatory combo. His biggest concern was that her cheek, which had an abscess from the bite wounds, appeared to be on the verge of rupturing, and she may soon need to be sedated so it could be surgically drained. And then he said, "She needs to wear an E-collar." This is short for Elizabethan collar, but not the fancy ones like royalty wears. He meant a cone. And I knew Aki was not going to like that idea one bit. 

"Portrait of a Woman" (1628) by Michiel Jansz van Miereveldt

   She actually liked it even less than I expected, as it took THREE of us plus a muzzle many, many, tries before we could get the cone over the head of the fiercely-struggling twenty-one pound dog. It's times like this that I can actually believe the Shiba's heritage as a bear-hunter. (Although clearly not a tiger-hunter, as she was in this whole predicament from a feisty ten-pound housecat.)

   Once the cone was on, she settled down for the ride home, no harm done. I dropped her off to be supervised by Diane & Lindsey and headed to work. Before I even arrived at work, I had received a text from Diane that the cone was off. Aki laid on her back and plucked it right off with her front feet. (Someone remind me why I opted for a smart breed over a nice, sweet, stupid dog?)

   When I got home, Diane and Lindsey had done a great job of keeping Aki calm, and I was able to replace the collar myself with little struggle from the patient, who seemed to have resigned herself to the idea that it was for her own good. In fact, she wore it well… though she was clearly not going to take any mocking from her housemates. 

It was hard at first for her to navigate with the cone.

"What's going on out there?"

 She looked quite pathetic... 

   That is, until she discovered that a cone is a handy tool for scooping up fresh poop, and she could stand there and dine right out of the cone! What a wonderful and novel idea!!!

(Think you could at least be a dear and lick the cone clean?

   And to commemorate this whole event, and more specifically, Kismet's fighting spirit, I purchased my very first ねつけ (netsuke) from the Nelson-Atkins Museum: a fierce tiger!

I think it looks just like her!

Okay, maybe more like this one: