Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo!

   Apparently it wasn't enough that I had a giant f***ing spider in my basement last week. This morning I went out to the deck with my coffee and the newspaper so I could enjoy the nice weather and the birds, and... nearly walked into a situation that would have incapacitated me with fear and grossed-outedness. Overnight a spider build a GIANT web right over the stairs to the upper level of the deck. The top of the web was over my head, and it was at least 4' wide:

   The sneaky culprit saw me coming & darted across the web & into the safety of the siding on the house. And let me just say, I would rather not have known how fast it could run. Nike should hire this guy for its next ad campaign. Because this spider could seriously be Carl Lewis. Think about it: have you ever seen them in the same room? Didn't think so.   ...Look. Do you see him? He's taunting me!

   Meanwhile, I am never going in my backyard again. Because when a spider builds a web that big, you have to question what they are hoping to catch.

   Thinking about this reminded me of all the awesomely bad horror movies that I loved to watch as a kid. (Yes, if I'm screwed up today, I have to blame my negligent babysitters. Do young children really need to see The Omen & The Exorcist? Well, I loved them.) I distinctly remember seeing Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo on late night network TV. It's a gem from 1977. Tarantulas from South America hitch a ride to America in some bags of coffee beans, and destruction ensues. Entertaining, but not as campy & charming as 1955's Tarantula. Check out the trailer for proof. Soon to be in my town: