Progress Vs. Perfection

   I'm happy to report that Gypsy made some much-needed progress last night! At the vet, we learned that the fluids we've been giving ARE helping: there was a very modest improvement in her BUN & creatinine levels. And this morning I counted the food pieces remaining on the plates to learn that she had eaten FORTY-SEVEN pieces!!! She left all the k/d (her most recent food), and ate some of the Science Diet Healthy from my vet, and some of the Nutro indoor adult salmon food, which was what I was feeding prior to the switch to k/d.
   Additionally, a couple of friends have already answered my pleas to bring samples of their cats' food. So tonight Gypsy can sample a different Science Diet blend (light) and some t/d (dental care) from Olivia and some Iams tuna flavor from Kelly. Here's hoping she loves it all. THANKS, FRIENDS!!!

   At work we have been using the mantra "progress vs. perfection" to remind ourselves that we need to be pushing forward and making an impact even when the results aren't perfect. I think that works for my Gyp, too. She's fifteen years old, and kidney disease and cancer are terminal, so I can't realistically expect a miraculous cure. But we will focus on making a little progress every day, so that she remains healthy and happy for as long as possible. I'm reminding myself to spend every free moment I have with her and be thankful for whatever time we have left. Life is precious!

Synchronicity

   I came home from work last night and took care of the animals, which is the first thing I always do. Gypsy hadn't eaten a bite... for the second day in a row. (The dogs love this, because I give them Gypsy's leftovers.) She seemed to rally after the low around Christmastime, and was back up to 11 lbs, from 9. But her appetite has been weak again since I returned from San Francisco on March 6.
   She always acts very interested in food—even follows me around shouting at me when she's hungry, pronouncing every letter in "MEOW!"—but when I put one of about 15 different foods down, she sniffs it and walks away. It's very frustrating. She's getting lighter and lighter.
   Later I went down to the laundry room to find that she had vomited clear liquid. Not good... definitely something to watch.
   This morning I saw that she hadn't eaten anything overnight, and she had vomited in the basement again. I called Joni to tell her I'd join them later for our hike if I could, and headed right for the vet, who graciously squeezed us in.
   We saw Dr. Miller, who hadn't checked Gypsy before. I could see the concern on his face when he read her charts. She was back down to 9.4 lbs. and he recommended bloodwork to check her kidney levels, subcutaneous fluids, and an anti-nausea injection. He palpated her and noted that her kidneys were huge... which has never been the case before. It's definitely cancer. And when you add that to the renal disease, it equates to, "we can't do anything but keep her comfortable and try to give her a good quality of life a little longer".
   None of this was a surprise, of course, given the last few months of history. But it did break my heart. I only lost Atom five months ago, Gypsy has been up and down since, and Taylor is seriously ill as well. They say things come in threes. I've found my unlucky number...
   I brought Gypsy home and comforted her, then took the dogs up to the dog park to meet Joni & friends. I shared the bad news, but we didn't dwell on it—I needed to get my mind off it for a couple of hours.

   When I got home, I opened up today's paper to see this:

   Synchronicity. Unfortunately, the article didn't offer any answers or much comfort. The author just confirmed that the lost of a beloved pet, a being who is devoted to you and depends on you, is very difficult—often moreso than losing a friend or close human family member. Again, not a surprise. Despite my other three pets, the house feels empty without Atom's presence.
   At dinner last night (Joni and I piled up the kaiten-zushi plates at Sakura), we talked about this subject. She noted that you always think your pets will live until tomorrow; but eventually tomorrow becomes today, and today becomes now. We agreed that the one good side to pets' lives being so short is that if you could keep them forever, you'd lose the opportunity to rescue more of them.
   I agree with that, but somehow I know I won't adopt another kitty. I've already had the two best kitties anyone could have... I can't imagine another that would live up to the standard mine have set. Most likely I will begin to foster dogs again, someday when time has helped heal my heart.
   Until that day, I have to be thankful for every moment I have with Gypsy. It's tough because it is plain to see that she is slipping through my hands, and though she is still here, my heart is raw, anticipating the inevitable. I have to keep reminding myself that I thought I was going to lose her on my birthday, so the last three months have been bonus time, and I'm thankful for it.
   Joni just emailed and reminded me: "Beginnings and endings are what life is all about.  It's what makes life so hard.  And it's what makes life so magical." She's a wise friend.

Inspiration

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

  — THEODORE ROOSEVELT

Lincoln Philosophy

Heard a great quote today:

   "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”  — Abraham Lincoln

   Although let's be clear, I'd like to live a really really long time. And I need to—there's still tons that I want to see and do!  :)

Made my day.

    I was checking Facebook tonight before bedtime (having a little trouble getting to sleep with two SNORING shibas in their beds... they're worn out from tonight's race) and ran across this comment from Rick on my polar bear photo:

 

    First of all, I love that when you isolate it from Facebook, it looks like it's from a fortune cookie. And the is THE fortune I'd want to get! It is one of the nicest things everyone has ever said to me, and made me reflect a little about just how blessed I am. Part of it is that I'm very appreciative for what I have in life: my family, my friends (which includes all my coworkers), my job, my animals... believe me, I could go on. And part of it is that I feel very lucky to have been born a creative person. I feel like I notice & appreciate details that others may overlook, I can find the humor in pretty much anything, and I never pass up the chance to have an adventure. And the REALLY cool thing is that I'm surrounded by people who feel the same way. So for all of you who happen to read this: thank you for the impact you've made on me. Because everyone I've met has shaped who I am.

   I read a quote today in one of our newsletters at work, and I've thought about it all day: "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." — Albert Pine English author (d. 1851)

   I believe in that wholeheartedly. I'm not sure yet what mark I'm going to make on the world that will live on, but I'm excited to find out. (Well, I guess I'll be dead. So I'm excited for YOU to find out!)